He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize