Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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