Why are handjobs necessary in class?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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