Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
