I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize