Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
