i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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