Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
