see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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