She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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