Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He felt like a one man threesome
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
