Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize