Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
