we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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