worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
