you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
