tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
