I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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