I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
