I accidentally had phone sex last night
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
