fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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