return my video game
so that wasnt chicken after all
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize