Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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