Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize