Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
