she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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