"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
