So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
