If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize