I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
high people should be assigned attendants
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
