Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
