Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
