but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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