Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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