Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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