It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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