He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
