You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize