I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize