Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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