He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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