We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
