you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
