he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize