he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I have already put on my inside pants.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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