The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
well you can't waste a boner
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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