I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
