I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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