I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
