Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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