He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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