I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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