He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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