I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
