Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
No subtext here. People are naked.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
