my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
