1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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