and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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