dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
