Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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